all unattributed images and words by fluxustulip: happily chronically perplexed

Saturday, January 3, 2015

The next month will be dedicated to as much singular focus on the one thing
that has made any true sense in my life in a long time:
Dharma Practice in the shape of-Chenrezig Sadhana, Shamata, Ngondro and Tonglen.

My lack of clarity is so great that I have become almost completely lost.
I have not forgotten what I am here for, thankfully, but I have
not been able to tell what could be of real benefit.

This has made me
harm those I love, those who love me and, I'm sure, 
countless other beings I am not aware of.

My heart is broken.
Broken by the harm I have caused.
Broken for the time I have wasted.
Instead of wallowing in my sense of
shame, self-pity and regret,
I am choosing to return myself
with firm disciplined resolve to
the only thing that can help us all.

I am broken.
I am grateful.
I am open.

That I have been given the opportunities to practice
with so much focus this year has been a gift.
Yet, I allowed myself to be distracted by my
own neurotic needs and confusion.
I don't want to waste another moment of this
truly precious existence with my bumbling.
I know this is right.
I know it will make me more able to
be of actual benefit.

All I've ever wanted was to be of real service.
I'm not sure I have been.
When I look around at our suffering world,
what other option do I have?
We have to do what we must.
It's not even a choice.
It's what we're here for.
The rest is not even possible 
without some level of clarity of mind.

May this time be spent in dedication
to clearing my own obscurations, 
so that my harm will be less,
so that all beings may
truly benefit.

Back in a bit.
xx O

Sunday, December 21, 2014

drawing instructions 2

by Joaquin Sorolla

Idea #2:
Variety of Values

night and day
light and dark
a little inbetween.

Value is easier to see when using one color.

Use a minimum of 3 values:
a dark Dark (shadows around torso/head above),
a light Light (the substrate...see the bum above),
and something in between.

Limit yourself to using only 3 values
while experimenting with a new piece.

It simplifies what you are seeing,
making you really look at what's
in front of you.

Therefore, simplifying compositional choices.

You can create value ranges with one pencil
by layering, varying pressure
and density of marks.

Friday, December 5, 2014


“Hazel blinked. 
  It occurred to her that Mikaela was being nice to her.  
She did not know how to react, 
for when your heart has been poisoned 
someone picks a dandelion for you-
because it is bright and yellow 
 you seem like you could use something like that-
all you can do is contemplate the funny ways of weeds.”

excerpt from
Breadcrumbs by Ursu

Saturday, November 22, 2014

drawing instructions 1

by Shin Yoon-bok- Korean- 1758 to ?

Idea #1:

All Things Reside on a ground.

Horizon Lines can be as simple as 
a line drawn from one side of 
the substrate to the other.

The line can undulate (waves or hills) 
or make sharp peaks (mountains).
Add outlines of trees or buildings...
or can be (un)realistic shapes and imaginings.

Without a place to be upon
objects are suspended in
the air...
*see the air-walking illustration above.

Make photocopies of your drawing
or use a tracing paper over the drawing
to try different horizon lines.

Most importantly:
Have Fun.
Loosen Up.
Make a ton of mistakes!
Draw with abandon.
Practice ,does, make Perfect.

To encourage myself to do all of the above 
I buy reams of this cheap, yet good quality,

xx O

Sunday, November 16, 2014


not wanting
to harm
i distance
i stop

what's the goal?
purpose or work?

always running
briefly settling
shallow tasks
at hand

finding a new way
for my nature
devoted service
to thrive

open to guidance
signs and portents
and the

Saturday, November 15, 2014

a british with max

early 2014


Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you’d be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place—
be glad your nose is on your face!

~J. Prelutsky


"I shall
 not live
 in vain
a glowworm
never one
 this i knew
was placed
a friendly bark"


Verse via Zabe,
who (? it, more likely)
a Weird Spammy email from
a Burlesque Dancer's site
 trying to sell me,
I think,
Russian Drugs.
I didn't
click the


Interwebz Weirdness.


the day!


Sunday, July 13, 2014

unknown place-known

I found the unknown place last week.  
I had to climb a bit and look down a lot but the vistas were profound.  
A few of these are the view from the top!  
Looking down things are pretty flat but the patterns are interesting.
Between last week and today, I've gotten in almost 20 hours of work....well, sketching.
Most take about 30 minutes max. 
These are the ones that are speakin' to me.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

"Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. "

"Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose."
 "I am larger, better than I thought,
I did not know I held so much goodness."

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Fred, Ida, Rodney
some of my people

"No doubt very few people understand the purely subjective nature of the phenomenon that we call love, or how it creates, so to speak, a supplementary person, distinct from the person whom the world knows by the same name, a person most of whose constituent elements are derived from ourselves."

-Within A Budding Grove-

"Love is a striking example of how little reality means to us."

-In Search of Lost Time-

"If we are to make reality endurable, we must all nourish a fantasy or two."

-In the Shadow of Young Girls in Flower-

All that Proust...